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CHARLOTTE R. MENDEL
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Sorry and Adieu!

8/9/2022

8 Comments

 
I want to apologize.

I realized I am always exhorting people to do things; I guess it’s part of the life of an author; you are always begging people to come to readings and launches. Ditto my Climate Action Game. And now I’m exhorting you all to start a discussion around my blog! I apologize. It is highly unlikely that I have ever responded to a single FB post of yours.
Why should I expect you to find what I write interesting, if the interest isn’t reciprocated? In your mind, that beautiful picture of your kids (or worse, your dog) is interesting and my climate rants are boring. While I understand your desire to project the impression that you are surrounded by sentient creatures who love you—I urge you to read your Tolstoy! “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

All reciprocal likes on FB are really reciprocal lies. Nobody wants to read a story about a happy family, and nobody spends more than two seconds looking at your photos, which is exactly how long they remember them after they move on. And the fact that your dog loves you does not mean you are lovable. Blondi gazed adoringly at Hitler, even as he killed her. Dogs are just kinda stupid that way.

Damn! I’ve just got back from a month at DDL and actually practiced fairly consistently; I can’t post the above and spread negative karma, can I? I know my POV is a very small lens. I’m only saying that we find each other equally boring. 😊

But we all need to find people that interest us, and are interested in us. I was blessed to find some at DDL—the next blog will examine my absolute joy in the results of my efforts to spread environmental knowledge while I was there; but—just like at university where most of the students loved me but one or two always hated my guts every class no matter what I did—some DDL folks loathed me on sight (like the fellow who jabbed his finger at my face and screamed, “Fuck you”. He seriously needs to meditate or toke more—results are very similar if you’re short on time). More on “lessons learned in my quest to develop an influential script for climate change” in the next blog.

But still, none of the people who excited me at DDL are from NS. I think in order to find people who will be interested enough in what I have to say to engage with me, I need to leave NS. I will be leaving next month, in September.

When I was 16, I lived in my house with my parents, usually a sibling or two, my horses, cats, a dog; I had a regular life with school and work in the summer. Six weeks after I turned 17, I lost my father. By the time I was 18, I had lost everything. My mother had gone abroad, the animals were gone and the house was empty. I got kicked out of Katimavik and I had nowhere to go. Luckily a friend rented me her room in her father’s house in Toronto.

Then I left NS for 12 years. The first three years I travelled the world on my own, but I was basically frightened the whole time. So when I settled in one place for ten years (Israel) I latched onto a man who wanted to look after me forever, who did everything competently, who would provide well and be a brilliant father. And these things were all true, but that wasn’t a brave choice. And so 32 happy years passed.

Fast-forward to 2022 and it’s all happening again—the loss of a parent, followed by the loss of an entire life. In 2020 I lost my mother, whom I loved passionately. In 2021 I left my husband, losing my home, my goats, sheep, chickens—except the ones in my freezer 😊. Now I need to leave NS and retrace my steps, and this time I trust that I’ll find the courage; because this time I have a mission, and it’s not centered on my paltry life and desires (this focus led me to marriage/children). It is centered on the fact that I passionately believe the human race can avoid catastrophic climate change.
First, because the scientists tell us there is still time.
Second, because we have a global roadmap—the Paris Agreement.
Third, because there is a tsunami of change happening.
And more than all those put together, because I want to live a worthwhile life.

It doesn’t matter what the outcome will be—nobody can predict the future. What matters is that my definition of living a worthwhile life is to devote it to enabling others to realize that we have a personal responsibility to reduce our own footprints in order to pass on a sustainable earth to the next generation. I am working to develop an influential script, and I need to find others like me, who can help me.

To finish with positive karma due to DDL influence, I would like to end by remembering all the lovely people from NS who have supported me in a myriad of different ways. By reading my books, coming to my launches, playing the Climate Action game, getting me into their schools, giving me feedback—thank you.

Keep in touch. I might be outside of NS, but I’m still on FB. And I read all my messages. Bless you!

8 Comments
David Wimberly link
8/9/2022 01:21:42 pm

Where are you headed to ? Please do keep in touch. I have thoroughly enjoyed knowing you. I love your outrageous personality and fierce commitment to truth and compassion, always with your personal perspective.

I wish you well, both you personally and your endeavours! In community we can change this world for the better.

Love you!!!!

Reply
charlotte
8/10/2022 02:53:14 pm

Dear David,
I responded to this on FB--thank you for your kind words. You know you will always be in my life, dont' you?
xoxo

Reply
Katherine Coutts
8/9/2022 02:43:41 pm

Loved reading this. You were always fascinating. Beautiful and brilliant. I am so sorry you lost your gorgeous mother. It’s been difficult without my mom. Even though she suffered dementia for 15 years. How are your gorgeous kids? Eli? I wish you all the best in quest to save this world. Me… I just marvel every day at the magic of each creature that happens to be on this earth. The copulation of the leopard slug. Why are wasps important? Always wonder where you were. Come stay here any time.

Reply
charlotte
8/10/2022 02:53:08 pm

You are very sweet Kathie Coutts--thank you! Losing mothers certainly sucks, and of course you left your husband once your daughter was grown as well. You did know I have left Eli? You are beautiful and brilliant too, and a free spirit, just like me!

Reply
Lesley
8/10/2022 10:48:06 am

Charlotte, you are hands down, one of the most interesting and unique people I have ever met. I've always enjoyed our chats and have missed seeing you around my barn. Your ability to speak your truth without inhibition is admirable. We must keep in touch. I look forward to seeing where your next journey leads you.

Reply
charlotte
8/10/2022 02:52:12 pm

Dear Lesley, I have responded to you more fully on FB--I am glad you find my ability to speak my truth without inhibition admirable, as i got kicked out of Dal for doing just that! You are a lovely human being and I feel certain that our paths will cross and recross in the future.

Reply
Lindsay Brown link
8/15/2022 11:06:36 pm

Dear Charlotte: leaving NS a good idea! Congrats.
You have lost both parents. Will your children now lose you? Or are they coming with? Patterns.
I agree that climate change is No. 1 and it’s horrifying that business has managed to shut down spineless gov’ts, here and everywhere.
All the very best to you in your search. I believe your destination is closer than you think.
Had to laugh: you begin by apologizing before proceeding to piss on the people you’ve sorta apologized to.
Any man (or woman, I spose) who screams fuck you at you is to be disregarded, instantly and utterly. ❤️

Reply
Charlotte
8/16/2022 03:19:31 pm

Thank you Lindsay for your note. I will always be present for my children; I hope I am breaking patterns, not preserving them.

Reply



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    I am a writer and I will try to amuse and entertain you with this blog, while provoking thoughts that challenge your existing beliefs. But beliefs only change with dialogue--so trust that I am looking for the truth as much as you are.

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