I realized I am always exhorting people to do things; I guess it’s part of the life of an author; you are always begging people to come to readings and launches. Ditto my Climate Action Game. And now I’m exhorting you all to start a discussion around my blog! I apologize. It is highly unlikely that I have ever responded to a single FB post of yours.
Why should I expect you to find what I write interesting, if the interest isn’t reciprocated? In your mind, that beautiful picture of your kids (or worse, your dog) is interesting and my climate rants are boring. While I understand your desire to project the impression that you are surrounded by sentient creatures who love you—I urge you to read your Tolstoy! “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."
All reciprocal likes on FB are really reciprocal lies. Nobody wants to read a story about a happy family, and nobody spends more than two seconds looking at your photos, which is exactly how long they remember them after they move on. And the fact that your dog loves you does not mean you are lovable. Blondi gazed adoringly at Hitler, even as he killed her. Dogs are just kinda stupid that way.
Damn! I’ve just got back from a month at DDL and actually practiced fairly consistently; I can’t post the above and spread negative karma, can I? I know my POV is a very small lens. I’m only saying that we find each other equally boring. 😊
But we all need to find people that interest us, and are interested in us. I was blessed to find some at DDL—the next blog will examine my absolute joy in the results of my efforts to spread environmental knowledge while I was there; but—just like at university where most of the students loved me but one or two always hated my guts every class no matter what I did—some DDL folks loathed me on sight (like the fellow who jabbed his finger at my face and screamed, “Fuck you”. He seriously needs to meditate or toke more—results are very similar if you’re short on time). More on “lessons learned in my quest to develop an influential script for climate change” in the next blog.
But still, none of the people who excited me at DDL are from NS. I think in order to find people who will be interested enough in what I have to say to engage with me, I need to leave NS. I will be leaving next month, in September.
When I was 16, I lived in my house with my parents, usually a sibling or two, my horses, cats, a dog; I had a regular life with school and work in the summer. Six weeks after I turned 17, I lost my father. By the time I was 18, I had lost everything. My mother had gone abroad, the animals were gone and the house was empty. I got kicked out of Katimavik and I had nowhere to go. Luckily a friend rented me her room in her father’s house in Toronto.
Then I left NS for 12 years. The first three years I travelled the world on my own, but I was basically frightened the whole time. So when I settled in one place for ten years (Israel) I latched onto a man who wanted to look after me forever, who did everything competently, who would provide well and be a brilliant father. And these things were all true, but that wasn’t a brave choice. And so 32 happy years passed.
Fast-forward to 2022 and it’s all happening again—the loss of a parent, followed by the loss of an entire life. In 2020 I lost my mother, whom I loved passionately. In 2021 I left my husband, losing my home, my goats, sheep, chickens—except the ones in my freezer 😊. Now I need to leave NS and retrace my steps, and this time I trust that I’ll find the courage; because this time I have a mission, and it’s not centered on my paltry life and desires (this focus led me to marriage/children). It is centered on the fact that I passionately believe the human race can avoid catastrophic climate change.
First, because the scientists tell us there is still time.
Second, because we have a global roadmap—the Paris Agreement.
Third, because there is a tsunami of change happening.
And more than all those put together, because I want to live a worthwhile life.
It doesn’t matter what the outcome will be—nobody can predict the future. What matters is that my definition of living a worthwhile life is to devote it to enabling others to realize that we have a personal responsibility to reduce our own footprints in order to pass on a sustainable earth to the next generation. I am working to develop an influential script, and I need to find others like me, who can help me.
To finish with positive karma due to DDL influence, I would like to end by remembering all the lovely people from NS who have supported me in a myriad of different ways. By reading my books, coming to my launches, playing the Climate Action game, getting me into their schools, giving me feedback—thank you.
Keep in touch. I might be outside of NS, but I’m still on FB. And I read all my messages. Bless you!